I want to live with my parents forever
because my passion does not bring the money for independence while mother
chases away the beatniks because my lifestyle does not bring distinguishable
satisfaction
I want to sleep on the floor of a
ramshackle drug house, the rats biting my toes to wake me up and lice tap
dancing in the forests of my head – a morning fix to add to the joy of working
or living or bleeding as the pen quivers at the sight of my magical fingers
I want to curl up into a depressed ball of
self loathing after reading rejection letters as my ex-sanguinated soul was not
valuable or tainted enough to make money at the big summer sale
I want to be a burden for every friend I’ve
ever made my drunken shenanigans remuneration for the never ending pile of
favours that empties every wallet and coils around every mind like the shrewd
boa of Eden
I want to contemplate suicide in the
heartbroken shoes of eternal doomed romantics because my genius is left
undiscovered for future generations to find and only then praise in my
afterlife
I want to be the saintly nomad of the world
– leaving pieces of his angelic heart in every village, fragments of his
intellectual brain in every town and his dharma soul scattered throughout the
rock
I want to embrace the radiantly malignant
bosoms of life – losing myself in the love-struck snatches of the Aphrodite
harpies, losing myself in the void of deliberate hallucinations, losing myself
in the starry abyss of indie, psychedelic jazz and blues
I want to die too soon by the hand of god
or my contradicting hand – my legacy is my life and its infinite struggles that
enhance the eventual victories. Tears, blood and madness left behind for the
miserable sheep that choose to follow and get high on tea and drunk in
nightclubs and copulate ecstatically and write through tearful eyes then die at
27 and I am forgotten and they are reborn
I want to revolutionize the world with my
essence – my artistic words to resurrect my heroic saviors and guarantee the
sweet release of immortality.
- Gilroy Van Wyk
South African Mechanical-engineer-to-be-turned-wordsmith seeking self-enlightenment by embracing life, many religions, and every bit of knowledge this wonderful world has to offer.
Read Gilroy's 'Era of a Ruined Gods' in HASH E-zine Issue 04 here.
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